Jacquemust
Jacquemust
A tabloid magazine written for Jacquemus to celebrate the launch of the London boutique.
Printed copies were given to customers with a cup of tea throughout opening weekend.

Gio Ponti for Taschen Books
GIO PONTI
“Gio Ponti, architect without borders, and Italian.”

To study Gio Ponti’s (1891 – 1979) prolific body of work is to appreciate the clear, unifying vision behind a complex creative universe. A synthesis of the arts, it expands like a crystal into intuitive facets with the Italian grandeur and studied lightness that defined his iconic style. Ponti’s rare capacity to move from micro to macro in a single flow of beauty allowed him to approach the design of a teaspoon with the same conviction as he did an entire city. The architect and the designer, the publisher and the poet, the artist and the man. The particular and the universal. A gem in its own regard, his contribution is a landmark of Italy’s mid-century Renaissance and the modernist values it sought to accomplish.
This new book is the most comprehensive account of his work to date, unprecedented in scale and scope. It tracks the development of Ponti’s oeuvre over 6 decades, 136 projects indexed and reproduced in high resolution in a compelling 36 x 36 cm format. It is an immersive experience of the atmosphere of space, each object framed by the context in which Ponti had created them. Like windows onto his illusive life, unpublished materials and candid imagery create new dialogues between his famous masterpieces - such as the Pirelli Tower or the Taranto Cathedral - and his work as editor of Domus and of countless objects, textiles and ceramics. A rich layer of texts, featuring a biographical essay, was produced in close collaboration with the Gio Ponti Archive offering an intimate insight on his life’s work. Materializing Ponti’s core philosophy of modernity, it presents architecture as a performing object, a « self-illuminating » stage for his humanistic art de vivre and boundless creativity.



« The most resistant element is not wood, is not stone, is not steel, is not glass. The most resistant element in building is art. Let’s make something very beautiful.”
– Gio Ponti

Not my Animal
Dear human,
If you’re reading this, congratulations! You made it through the late 2010’s. Though it has undoubtably been a dubious ride, we hope our presence in your lives as loving pets, wild animals and meme providers has granted you some relief in this chaotic world.

Let’s go back in time, to 2016…
Hillary Clinton was running for president, Britain voted to leave the EU and Kylie Jenner coined it the year of “just realizing stuff”; still more sinister events lurked just beyond the horizon. The electoral college had yet to perplex the masses and your immune systems were still untainted by Coronavirus (though people kept mentioning Zika? What happened there?). We could smell the impending doom; a storm brewing, accelerating with great haste.
You began to pet us more vigorously then, first running your palm placidly down our backs, becoming more agitated with every ear scratch. Your phone went “ding!” spasmodically, terrifying us and you all at once, forcing us to hide while you scrolled through endless pages of breaking reports framed in the blood red borders of various news apps. By 2017, we had both started losing hair. Something had to be done.
Thus, Not My Animal was born. Our emancipation began quietly at first, finding our digital shelter on Instagram, growing our online connections day by day. Through an archive of portraits you humans took of us during these precarious times, a deeper sense of meaning emerged. We held a mirror up to your compulsions, urging you to see us not only as your companions, but as your compatriots! Our posts began to make you laugh, cry and question your human reality, compelled by both our faults and similarities.
Our adorable lives continue to be documented today, having gotten you through recessions and lockdowns (2020, amirite!). These countless hours spent in confinement have allowed us time to consider new breeds of entertainment, as well as their potential ethical impact and sustainability. It is our honour to present the fruits of this period of reflection, the Not My Animal: 2017-2020 Collection, a true labour of love, printed on recycled paper no less!
So go ahead, have a look! Gaze upon our silly mugs. It has been our pleasure navigating these past few years with you and we look forward to those yet to come. We promise to stick around, so long as you promise to keep feeding us.

Love,
YOUR
Animals
Bruce Labruce: Interview
Bruce Labruce
Interview For Sky Blue Review, April 2022
Having lived in Paris now for some years, I hold a firm place in my heart for the eccentric talent bred in my home country of Canada - and particularly for those who choose to work in Quebec. Our local enigmas are often immortalized not only through their accomplishments, but by their distinct disobedience of American pop culture norms. No one exemplifies this with more moxie than the notorious Bruce LaBruce.
An incendiary icon and quintessential queer king of camp, LaBruce has been (for lack of a better word) exposing the world to his x-rated fantasies for the better part of the last three decades. His films blur the line between cinema and pornography, groping the sweet spot where desire and fetish become interchangeable. To say his work is referential would be an understatement, boisterously parading its immersive inspirations with shameless enthusiasm. His most recent film, Saint Narcisse, is no different, exploring the taboo of twincest in a mythological context. His creative exploits are frequently condemned and picketed by the right wing masses, though that seems to have only added fuel to the fire. In a society smothered by “respectability politics”, Bruce LaBruce gives us the breath of steamy air we’ve all be gasping for.

RH:
Saint-Narcisse is a twin-centric love story of self-obsession, rebellion, and ultimately of redemption. What compelled you to tell this story?
BRUCE:
My movies often take as their subject some sort of fetish or taboo. Fetishes fascinate me as they are generally regarded in society as something pathological or disgusting, even though most of us have some kind of fetish or other, defined by Freud as anything that doesn’t contribute directly to the procreative act. According to that definition, even a kiss is a fetish. Most fetishes seem to exhibit a kind of reverence for the love object, identifying it as something sacred, and even may involve a romantic attachment to it. My movies attempt to define and celebrate this romance. The starting point for Saint-Narcisse was the narcissistic fetish of oneself, which is articulated in the Narcissus myth, and more particularly by the phenomenon of twincest. Twincest is a well-defined genre in the porn world, and the twincest taboo in cultural is in a way regarded as the most « acceptable » or « understandable » form of incest : when you are confronted with your own doppelgänger, it makes sense that you would have intimacy with it, and possible a sexual attraction. So applying twincest to the Narcissus myth gave me the opportunity to explore these ideas further. The movie is also about Freud’s idea of “Family Romance”, which is essentially a term to describe the sexual tensions that exist within the nuclear family. Beyond the incestuous relationship between the twins, there is the more symbolic incest between Beatrice, the mother of the twins and an Earth Mother figure, and Irene, the daughter figure (Irene being the daughter of Beatrice’s dead lover, Agathe, who happens to look like Irene’s twin), and between Andrew, the symbolic Father, and Daniel, one of the twins. The movie explores what happens when these almost arbitrary social contracts and taboos are contravened. When the demented Father figure is eliminated, we are left with a polyamorous family at the end. The audience is left to consider the implications of these transgressions.
RH:
Is there a reason you frequently choose to work in Quebec?
BRUCE:
Originally I started making work in Quebec because I couldn’t get bigger budgeted films financed in Anglo-Canada. I failed to get one great project, about the photographer Wilhelm Von Gloeden, financed, and when I was also turned down multiple times for my movie Gerontophilia, my producers and I found a Quebec producer, Nicolas Comeau, who financed both Gerontophilia and Saint-Narcisse in Quebec through SODEC and Quebec Telefilm. As you know, Quebec has a very rich film history, and its appreciation of cinema is more aligned with European art house cinema. It is more embedded in the culture, and concerned with more adult themes, which includes being more open to frank representations of sexuality and nudity. Saint-Narcisse is also my homage of sorts to Quebecois cinema of the 70’s. I was influenced as a kid by the films from Quebec that I would see on CBC, the national broadcaster, including the films of Paul Almond, who made a trilogy of films with his then-wife, Genevieve Bujold. In one film I saw, The Act of the Heart (1970), Bujold plays a young girl from the country who moves to Montreal and ends up having sex with a priest, played by Donald Sutherland, on the alter of the church. At the end she goes to a park, douses herself with gasoline, and sets herself on fire. This and other films of the era were my introduction to such themes as the intersection of religious and sexual energy, the extreme fetishes and perversions of Catholic saints, and represented the beginning of my pornographic imagination.

RH:
We’d love to hear about your upcoming porn film. And who is Skye Blue ;) ?
BRUCE:
The Affairs of Lidia came about when the Erika Lust Company approached me to make a feature film for them. I had already made three 30 minute films for them which turned out nicely, so this seemed like a natural progression. I’ve always wanted to make a film using the fashion industry as a backdrop, so this seemed like as good a time as any! I felt it was high time for a fashion/porn crossover. The movie is a kind of pastiche or mostly affectionate satire of the fashion world, campily reveling in its cliches. We shot it in 8 days in Montreal last Oct/Nov during COVID restrictions, so it was very challenging. I cast the two female leads, Skye Blue, who plays Lidia, and Vanna Bardot, based on Lust’s recommendations. Skye has been a Penthouse model, and in fact I wanted my movie to have a slightly Penthouse look and atmosphere, but more from the point of view and sensibility of female characters, a Lust trademark. The three male characters are played by porn stars Sean Ford, Drew Dixon, and Markus Kage, who mostly do gay porn but are into crossing over from time to time. The film is largely bisexual in nature, with some polyamory thrown in for good measure. The movie also features the wonderful Montreal trans actor Pascale Drevillon. Skye was extremely professional and fun to work with, even though we really put her through the paces with a lot of complicated dialogue. She balanced the sex and narrative scenes beautifully.
RH:
Do you prefer working on feature films or pornos? And what is it like to switch gears from one to the other?
BRUCE:
For me, the distinction between making porn and indie feature films is somewhat moot. I started out making what I considered sexually explicit art films in the early 90’s, but some people considered them pornographic. Since I was being called a pornographer anyway, and subject to the same glass ceiling as pornographers, I started making porn movies for my producer, Jurgen Bruning, who started the first ever porn company, Cazzo Film, in Berlin. I made four indie feature films for him with the understanding that we would release both a hardcore version for the porn market and a soft-core version (still somewhat explicit) more suitable for film festival and theatrical release. Then I segued making indie arthouse films like Gerontophilia, The Misandrists, and Saint-Narcisse which had transgressive or provocative themes and scenes, but were not intended for a porn audience. I also insisted on continuing to make porn movies for the likes of Cockyboys and Erika Lust. So I really feel like I’m able to move back and forth between the two worlds, which isn’t easy to do. The indie features generally have larger budgets and more shooting days, and the emphasis is on the narrative and aesthetics. The porn films are still relatively high-end, and narrative and aesthetics are important, but you also have to devote equal time to the sex scenes, which have their own conventions and rules of engagement.
RH:
Which article of clothing could you never live without?
BRUCE:
A black bomber jacket. I currently have three, one with a LUCIFER appliqué on the back, purchased from Kenneth Anger.
RH:
What’s the story behind that transaction?
BRUCE:
Like all my stories, it’s a long one. I’m a big Kenneth Anger fan, both for his films and for his two Hollywood Babylon books. My character in my movie Hustler White is named Jurgen Anger, the name and character a composite of the producer of the movie (and many of my other features), Jurgen Bruning, and Kenneth Anger. I consider the character a fond homage to Mr. Anger, but I do make a couple of bitchy jokes at his expense. At one point, for example, someone asks me if I am any relation to Kenneth, and I reply drily, “I think not.” When my collaborator on the film, Rick Castro, helpfully showed Mr. Anger the movie, Anger said he hated me and my character, and in fact he said he wanted to take me to the desert, throw me on a cactus with barbed spines that open up and prevent you from extracting yourself from them, leave me in the hot sun for three days, and then come back and shoot me between the eyes. I’ve had to deal with hexes from many dainty Satanists over the years, so I got my Santeria husband to help me repel any incoming spells or curses, but I was always hesitant to meet him in person. When I finally did, a couple of years ago at a Homosurrealism even in LA, I don’t think he knew who he was, and I didn’t bother to tell him! But I did buy a couple of Lucifer jackets from his handlers to contribute to his continued well-being. He’s 95 years old now, so he’ll probably outlive me anyway!
RH:
And finally, why do you always put your thumb in your mouth in photos?
BRUCE:
I don’t put my thumb in my mouth. I put the knuckle of my index finger against my lower lip. It reminds one to suck in one’s cheeks, it conceals any potential double-chin-age, and it gives one an air of thoughtfulness and introspection.

The Affairs of Lidia will be premiering on April 21st at the Buenos Aires International Independent Film Festival (BAFICI) and you can stream Saint-Narcisse for free at CBC Gem.
SENE - JunQ
SENE - JunQ - PRESS RELEASE
JunQ - or ‘Journal of unsolved Questions’- is modelled on a parallel exercise: to score sculptures while sketching music, in a conjoined effort to dispel the woes of isolation. Designed like a Debordian RPG game, the architecture of JunQ can be penetrated from any end, like a wave that never breaks, a continuous loop forward. JunQ is a collaborative language that binds the algorithm of an artificial pop star and the performance of the artist himself. Real imitates ‘fake’ in a chain of infection and sublimation; the ultimate romance between analog evolution and digital experimentation.
The story opens on the ethereal song of sirens, beckoning us on.
Vocals are composed like instruments, a chorus of fantastical beasts providing sound cues in the atmospheric wanderings of the LP. A haunting banshee, the monstrous growl of an Orc, are met with sharp violins and muffled harpsichord to form an orchestra for the New Babylon. Sounds are never used for their default function; they are sculpted, distorted, amplified, to become hybrids. The tension between guttural bass-lines and titillating cymbals turn generic samples of classical instruments into sound archetypes for the future. Distant dance-hall reverberations delimitate a vibrant ‘jungle’ of sound that is open to its user’s interpretation.
Erwan Sene is a protean artist and musician based in Paris.
His composite body of work is led by a sculptural practice that unfolds on several levels, reprising, digesting and warping the objects that surround him.
He creates polyphonous mise-en-scènes, between baroque remanence and domestic surrealism, that address themes of contamination, idiopathy and science fiction.

The JunQbook
The JunQbook is a visual immersion depicted at a microscopic scale; an encrypted rulebook to decipher the JunQspace.
Each page dives into the neon structures of Cronenberg-like mutations: miniatures, models, ventilation details echo the micro-evolutions of Sene’s ‘imaginary mundane’.
Appropriating the devices of the COVID-19 lockdown, Sene sought to conjure the entrapment of infection, staging its distorted biotope as a friend, rather than a foe.
The sensuality of fragmentation and the saturation of nuclear tones are the instruments of his personal entropy.
The book features a bespoke type that evokes notions of archeology and of civilisations hidden inward - providing a faux-real scripture to its multi-fold universe.
This type was designed in collaboration with Marie Mam-Sai Bellier and Marine Stephan.

SENE - JunQ - INTRODUCTION
(Journal of unsolved Questions)
You have entered the world of JunQ
An open-ended quest for wanton wanderers,
Our wayward expedition holds limitless possibilities
JunQ is a game that warps the fabric of reality
Scratching, cutting - TRICKING - its way into its own fragmented zone
JunQ is a terminal for fantasy
A modular solution to the dread of isolation
LAYERS OF INTERPRETATION AND MEANING
A REVERENCE TO THE PROCESS
AN ODE TO THE MACHINE
JunQ is an archeology of solitude set to an infectious beat
Successive reverberations create infinite computations:
The texture of our journey is a flight - frenetic, then surrendered
Throughout, a wordless voice, a song of a siren, calls the objective of our mission
Mapping territories of control and chaos
JunQ is collaborative language
A digital spell cast to conjure an artificial pop star
‘One voice to rule them all- and in the deep-web bind them’
One voice to emulate ‘humanity’ - a virtual Pinocchio for a post-human world
SPF - IOU - NDA - FTP - REI - GMO - DOA - MFD - RNB
LAYERS OF INTERPRETATION AND MEANING
A REVERENCE TO THE PROCESS
AN ODE TO THE MACHINE
You access the JunQspace at your own will
Its codes are cryptic, tailored to the ANARCHI-tecture of the mind
We provide the outline, you generate the rest
Huge and full of absence, the JunQspace follows no rules
Derived from the Shuffle generation, it can be approached from any end
Ventilation, doors, windows, grids, are scars of property, relics of delimitated space
PRISONS OF PHYSICAL CONTEMPT
JunQ is the place where artificial expression meets analog pastiche
It is a reflection on the plasticity of the post-human voice
JunQ stages conversations with the ‘Ghost in our Shell’:
‘Faux old/ Real new’
‘Real’ completes ‘fake’ in an unstoppable chain of infection and sublimation
If you listen close enough, can you hear its heart-beat?
Can you grasp at the longing that lies beyond the code?
The plot hungers for a breath of fresh air
Bacteria blooming everywhere
The ghost of dance-hall echoes
Sounds of glass and streams,
Growls of Orcs and Banshees, shrieking - forever forward
Voicing hybrid exaltations of ESCAPE
SCAN - COPY - ZOOM - BLOW UP

Cormio The Pearly Gates
FASHION FICTION
Welcome and
Benvenuto
dear friend,
It is with great pleasure that we present to you CORMIO PEARLY GATES, a twisted tale of lucid dreams, of ecstasy and intrigue; a cooky quest into our very own world of wonder.
Before we dive in, for all you first-timers and aficionados alike, let’s start with the ABC’s of our brand.
CORMIO is formally quite simple. We offer a foundational wardrobe for the fearless girl who relishes in intellectualizing her cuteness and sexuality. It is a coming-of-age story born at the intersection of tradition and rebellion, done dressed in bon-ton daywear with a deranged twist. She is as playful as she is cunning, a living, breathing subversion of “the neoliberal expectation that hyper-feminine qualities can’t be intellectually substantive”*. We make clothing that boys want to steal from their sisters, mothers, friends or girlfriends, daring to go where no mini-skirt has gone before.
Our aesthetic explores the final frontiers of the bourgeoisie fantasy, evolving old-world signifiers to give them new-world context.

Each collection is a fresh concoction of clever juxtapositions sprinkled with a dash of youthful irreverence; a post-modern cut-up with a splash of Chianti, the demented drone of techno-yodelling echoing in the distance.
Each collection is a fresh concoction of clever juxtapositions sprinkled with a dash of youthful irreverence; a post-modern cut-up with a splash of Chianti, the demented drone of techno-yodelling echoing in the distance.
At CORMIO we are dutifully conscious of the world around us, conducting a tight-knit community of artisans and creatives who are dedicated to working towards a brighter tomorrow. We produce each piece with the highest standards at heart, working hand in hand with small Italian factories to embrace sustainable methods of manufacturing. We are committed to perfecting our practices with each passing collection. Our eyes turned firmly towards the future of our field, CORMIO invites one and all to experience the fantasy.
So without further ado,
Red pill, blue pill, down the rabbit hole…
The wise words of Stephanie Deig, PhD researcher specializing in feminist philosophy and gender studies at the University of Lucerne. 2021 is the Year of the Bimbo, Roisin Lanigan, i-D, 19 January, 2021.
Meet ME AT THE CORMIO PEARLY GATES
In the not-so-far-away city of Milan, in a time quite like our own, a girl named Lola had grown tired of the dreary dullness that had crept into her life.
First of all, nothing fun ever seemed to happen anymore. She had moved to Milan from a small town in the Dolomites to “broaden her horizons”, though the only thing actually broadening was her inability to fit in. Everyone was so rigid and predictable, like puppets on invisible wires.
She felt the tingle of an irresistible itch - like a match longing to be sparked.
Lola looked around at her messy apartment, the sound of “Hit Me Baby One More Time” by Britney Spears blaring over tiny laptop speakers.

“What am I doing here…it’s Friday night!”
she thought to herself.
A restless feeling was building inside of her. She needed to get out, to live, laugh and love?… she needed to move. An eerie voice call out to her:

“Run, Lola, Run.”
Lola got up so fast the chair behind her toppled backwards.
“My loneliness is killing me.”
Like a whirring whirlwind, Lola dashed into to her bedroom and put on her favorite pink CORMIO embroidered sweater and belted denim skirt.

“I must confess, I still believe.”
Bypassing the elevator, she barreled down the stairs, skipping every second step in her flight.
“And give me a signnnnn!”
She burst through the front doors of the building just as a bright yellow Ferrari sped past her, headed in the direction of Loreto. Ripe for adventure, Lola followed it wistfully into the night.

THE LORETO BUNNY
Lola sauntered through the busy neighborhood past bustling bars and nightclubs, each one more blandly hellish than the last. The dizzying labyrinth of streets was beginning to daze her. Wandering over to a much welcome bench that had been erratically draped with garlands of jasmine flowers, she settled down in hopes of catching her breath.
“Ciao Bella!”
A melodious voice called out from behind her. A blond-haired boy in a blue knitted cardigan emerged from the shadows.
“I’m Giordano, and you are lost. I know of a place where questions find answers - a rave happening tonight, if you’re looking for a real eye-opener.”
Lola was skeptical.
“A party? But how do I get there?”
“I can’t tell you exactly where it is… but I can give you a clue.”
He said, winking.
Giordano reached into his pocket and miraculously pulled out a ragged-looking doll that was holding its own microscopic handbag.
“Open it.”
Giordano urged.
Inside was a tiny smiley-faced pill.

“Take it if you dare, your boredom better beware.”
He said coyly before Lola popped the pill into her mouth and dry swallowed.
It tasted like cotton candy.

“Brava! Now here’s a clue for you! Down below church mice convene, all hail supreme Queen Jolene.”
“Wha-“
Lola could hardly utter a word before Giordano shushed her, pressing his finger to her lips. She pointed down the dark alley before them where stood a door Lola hadn’t noticed before.
The door was ancient looking, a peacoat wearing rabbit painted ornately on the front. Mesmerized by its charm, Lola pushed the creaking door open and climbed down what seemed like a bottomless ladder towards the gloom that beckoned below.
“Follow the white rabbit…”
THE UNDERGROUND CHOIR
Climbing deeper and deeper down the hole, the sound of echoing chants bounced off its cavernous walls from below like a strange underground choir. Losing her grip, Lola slid recklessly down the ladder like a stripper pole at breakneck speed.
Letting go with outstretched arms, she plunged further and further into the darkness…

Lola opened her eyes to find herself slumped over an oak church pugh next to a man in a sharp blazer who appeared to be conducting a group of school children, standing in rows at the alter.
“Ok everyone, once more with gusto: “Pour myself a cup of ambition, and yawn and stretch and try to come to life!
He silenced the choir with a whip of his hand, pausing their roaring rendition of Dolly Parton’s ‘9 to 5’.
“Not now! Can’t you see we’re busy??”
He said, incredulously gesturing at the singing students.
Lola was speechless.
“Well…?? The party doesn’t start until later… you’re very, very early.”
The man turned to the group.
“Kids, continue without me.”
“Oh, you’re going to the rave?”
Lola guffawed, baffled yet intrigued.
“Going? I curated the guest list! Didn’t you receive your RSVP? I’m Jonathan, at your service.”
The glitter-heavy letters reading “CORMIO PEARLY GATES” flashed on the plush invitation he produced with a simple snap of his fingers.
“Anyway, you’re going to have to wait. Maybe try a little confession-session in the meantime? It seems like you might have some things to get off your chest.”
“Jumpin’ in the shower and the blood starts pumpin’…”
The choir continued.
She walked over to the confession box which appeared minuscule against the vaulted church ceiling. Sitting down inside, something sharp pricked her and she jolted in pain; a giant fluorescent Smiley-face pin was glowing beneath her. On the back was carved:
“Our names engraved in gold eternal, Come and join our knitting circle.”
Her eyes fluttered to the hypnotic beat she knew all too well…
COMPETITIVE MANUFACTURING
Lola awoke on the cold misty grass of a stadium, the night‘s stars glittering back at her approvingly. All at once, the stadium lights blasted on - blinding her momentarily. She guessed at silhouettes in the distance, a flock of balloons hovering over them like a demented cloud.
As she approached the group, she noticed a legion of knitting machines and tailoring posts positioned around the sprawling football pitch. A roaring voice abruptly came over the loudspeaker just as the Jumbotron above flickered to life.
“And now for the main event! The competition to end all competitions, ladies and gentlemen this is The Regional Manufacturing Cup Championships!”

The screen broadcasted the face of a proud woman who seemed to have appeared out of thin air at one of the stations.
“Everybody please give a round of applause for our competitors from Parma: Valeria! Hand-embroidery heavyweight! Stitching butterflies, flowers, and elegant bows, onto sweaters and skirts that slay show after show!”
The crowd all cheered in unison.
With super-powered precision, Valeria produced garment upon garment, complete with tiny embroidered details. Rising from her seat to salute the crowd, she pumped her fists in the air triumphantly.
“Enza of Milano joins the pair! The tailor of dresses with immaculate flair! Gaining on them is Claudia of Parma! Without a second to spare, she’s turning out quantities one can’t compare!”
“Outstanding performance by a true visionary! Valeria is challenged by fellow Parmensi Giuseppe and Paola! These two are technicians of the highest of orders, programming patterns on machines with Japanese motors!”
Lola couldn’t believe her eyes. The field was packed with fans desperately fawning over their favorite manufacturers. Some were snapping photos, others were waving flamboyant flags from different regions. She even thought she saw a couple comparing trading cards.
“Enza of Milano joins the pair! The tailor of dresses with immaculate flair! Gaining on them is Claudia of Parma! Without a second to spare, she’s turning out quantities one can’t compare!”
As the competition raged on, she took the chance to approach Valeria who was now packing up her station.
“Hi there, I’m looking for the CORMIO Pearly Gates but I’m not sure how to get there.”
She realized she had no idea what time it even was.
“My dear, the party isn’t happening yet. You’re going to have to be patient, I’m quite busy! You should go talk to the Folloni boys, Marco and Rory, maybe they can help you find what you’re looking for.”
Valeria pointed to a couple of stations over where two competitors were preparing for the next round. For some reason, a pack of tiny fluffy chickens and rabbits were circling their table.
“Sorry to bother you, would you happen to know when I’m supposed to be at the CORMIO Pearly Gates…Or where it is…And who are they?”
Lola asked as she approached the athletes, referring to their furry entourage.
“They’re our teammates! Never sew a stitch without them, guaranteed win all the time, every time! The CORMIO Pearly Gates, hmm… Can’t help you there. But I can definitely help you with that cold you’re going to catch if you don’t warm up and get some rest.”
Marco winked as Rory handed Lola a beautiful hand-embroidered cardigan.
“Here put this on, it’s going to be a big night!
“Challengers from Gossolengo, Baris is getting it done on a knitting machine! Listen to that buzzing! It’s soothing, serene!
…
Up against Sabrina and Carla, the mother/daughter pair! Sewing armholes and waistbands is a family affair, turning out so many looks I would wear!”
Lola slipped on the cardigan. It fit like a glove. Reaching into the pocket, she felt the smooth outlines of a heart-shaped locket. She opened it apprehensively in the privacy of her palm.
A rolled-up scroll sprung out. It read:
“If it truly is magic you crave, I’ll see you at the CORMIO rave.”
Wandering over to a lone pile of freshly-knitted garments, Lola felt her eyelids become heavier as she dramatically collapsed into their pillowy softness. Dreams of a Strawberry Moon flashed before her eyes, its pink glow shining brighter in intervals, as if beating to the sound of an unsung melody.
RAVE AT THE CORMIO PEARLY GATES
Lola felt warmth on her cheek, wet and urgent. Deep, groaning snores drew her from her slumber. She opened her eyes to see two pugs waiting patiently in the snow.
“You better hurry, we’ve been expecting you”
Said the stout one.
She followed the colloquial pugs in disbelief, the penetrating pulse of techno reaching deep into her skin. A Disney-worthy castle stood triumphantly before her.
“That pill was something…”

She had finally arrived.
Everywhere Lola looked, something delightful was happening. This club had everything:
Après-ski socialites
A bourgeois family in full Tyrollean attire
The ‘Venga-bus’
One-shoe wonder, Cinderella
A toothless wiener dog
Boys in fine silks, Girls in boxers
Angsty teens sharing a plate of Schlutzkrapfen
A pack of wild squirrels
A children’s choir
“Competitive manufacturers” playing briscola
Everyone was there!
And was that a Dolly Parton impersonator dressed in a pink patterned terry cloth dress singing Britney Spears songs? It was all too much and somehow exactly enough at the same time.
The two pugs waddled over, followed by Jonathan and a man with a salt-and-pepper beard and inquisitive eyewear.
“So happy to see you at last! I hope you had a safe journey here?! ”
He yelled over the music.
“This is Lucien, meet us on the dance floor!”
She grinned gleefully as they disappeared into the reeling crowd.
An overwhelming sense of belonging washed over her. She was exactly where she needed to be.
Lola went up to the bar to find herself standing next to an effortlessly nonchalant girl in a red knitted dress.
“Two CORMIOpolitain’s please.”
She said coolly.
Two pink drinks appeared on the bar as if conjured by some bartending witch, the brunette handed Lola the second one.
Shimmying her way to the front of the DJ booth, the vibrations thumped metronomically in her chest. Beyond it was a panoramic window that looked out at a snow-capped mountain, hula-hoop clouds hanging low on its flanks. Closing her eyes, Lola gave in to the music and danced like everyone was watching.
EPILOGUE
coLola awoke to the sound of birds chirping, the sun rising slowly over the empty streets.
The satisfying burn of a night well-lived scorched her temples. It was pure bliss. A gleaming yellow road home stood before her - she barely noticed herself skipping, or the soft tear rolling down her cheek.
‘I’m a connoisseur of roads. There’s not another road anywhere that looks like this road,
I mean exactly like this road.
It’s one kind of place, one of a kind. Like someone’s face. Like a fucked-up face.’
